This is the story of why I didn't get a 2400 on my SATs.
Several years ago, I had to take my SAT's. So it's just me and a bunch of other kids from various high schools (I knew no one in the room). The room had 5 rows of desks but we were only allowed to sit in every other row (I'm bad at explaining this, but basically only three of the rows could be occupied).
The three rows fill up quick. I'm sitting near the front of the room but there's one guy in front of me. And he's farting. I don't know if it was the anxiety of taking the test or the dude was just on a mission to shit his pants but he was just going at it, full steam ahead. They weren't loud enough farts to be blatantly obvious. I'd just hear the lightest puff of air and then be assaulted by one of the worst smells I've ever encountered (trust me, I've been to India, I know bad smells).
So there I am thinking "oh god, this is how I die." But it's not like I can do anything about it. I can't just switch seats because you can't talk or even move while taking the test. And I can't bring it to the proctor's attention because, honestly, I feel kind of bad for the kid. I can't shame him now. Not when he has nowhere to go. So I suffer through it.
After what seems like days of wading through this literal asshole's endless ocean of farts, the test finally ends. The booklets get collected and everyone is allowed to move around again. Because most people are rushing out and it's a crowded room, I'm forced to sit there an extra minute. Meanwhile, the farter's friend walks over to him from across the room. He takes a sniff and, based on the look of disgust on this kid's face, I'm thinking "oh sweet justice, this kid is gonna make fun of the farter but it's okay because they're friends!"
No such luck. The friend looks at the farter and says "dude it smells like ass over here." No, friend, it smells like farts. But the farter doesn't say that. The inhuman bastard replies "yeah, I think this kid behind me has been farting this whole time."
... I don't know his name. I don't know how he did on his SATs. I don't know if he went to college or what he majored in. Frankly, he could be curing cancer right now and I don't even give a fuck. I hate that kid. I hate him so fucking much.
Hunt the farting liar down and tell the world how he cost you a perfect score on your SAT.How we had to drive you immediately to the emergency room for toxic fume inhalation and two,count them...two pink almost red eyes...farting bastard,you know who you are !!!
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